By Sri M. K. Ramanujam
Acceptance, both of ourselves and of our circumstances, quietens the mind. Acceptance is not about becoming a doormat, but accepting that everything comes in two’s—joys and sorrows. The moment we understand life as it is, without putting our likes and dislikes into it, we understand that it comes in a beautiful, perfect package.Remember, your mind is your home.
Acceptance prepares the intelligence to find the solution. When you ‘accept’, the mind loses a whole lot of its negative power. Any complaining or grumbling is non-acceptance. If we keep complaining about so-called justifiable things, it will become a habit, and habit will find an excuse for complaining.
With acceptance, inner transformation begins. Stress is the time limit between facing a problem and our acceptance of it; not the time between the problem and finding its solution. Acceptance does not mean agreeing, but simply not questioning “why did this happen to me?” Acceptance is simply not brooding on what “could have, should have, would have” happened. Once acceptance comes in, it is easy to understand the choices you have before you.
This is the secret of life. Inner transformation has to start with the realization of how we do not accept situations and instead complain about them. When there is a big pillar in front of me, I should find a way to go around it, but if I instead go on banging against it, is it not simply insanity? Imagine the pillar to be a mental construct. You want a situation to play out in a particular way. But it does not happen that way. If you continue to question “Why did it happen like this! Why should this happen to me?” is it not banging your head on reality? A physical wound will at least heal, but a mental wound will not go. It will only become bigger. The sooner we are aware of our mental non-acceptance, the quicker will we be on the path towards inner transformation and towards having a better quality of inner life. With inner life in order, the quality of outer life also improves. If you really want to help or serve someone, it has to start with yourself. A surgeon needs to first sanitize himself, right? Likewise, the first step in the process of reaching out, is for yourself to expand, to transform yourself.